Food Gone Wild

WARNING:  This is an IBS-specific post, and may contain TMI - Too Much Information.

We have all been lead to assume that fruits, vegetables, lentils and whole grains are healthy and should represent a large portion of our diet.  I would also like to believe this is true, but, unfortunately, for some of us, this can run horribly awry in practice.

For the last few months I have had the sneaking suspicion that I have been heading toward a full-blown IBS episode. Firstly, as my episodes are normally about every two years or so, I am clearly due.  What tipped me off though were the minimum of seven to eight visits to the ladies room each day (double what I think of as normal) for the past eight weeks. I have had gas so badly that I have been unable to sit up straight at work and have been forced to drop everything, call a cab and head home to my magic bag on more than one occasion.  It has begun to affect my routines, my corn starch usage has gone through the roof and I cannot decide whether sitting or standing is preferable.

In an attempt to combat this I have tried a few things.  I had my first abdominal massage, I am now seeing a naturopath (the third in my lifetime).  I find myself agreeing to consume tinctures and Chinese herbs with names like bu zhong yi qi tang.  I have yet to try a rice water remedy that is supposed to help regulate me.

The likely question here is - is it something I'm eating?  I tried that experiment - I did the clean eating thing - I peeled and steamed my veg and fruit.  I ate lots of sugar-free applesauce and fruit cocktail (fresh fruit can be tricky for IBSers to digest).  I ate more fibre, I drank more water (more than my 3+ litres a day), I drank digestive teas, I did the digestive-friendly yoga poses and lots of yoga breathing.  The results?  It gave me the shits, like, have-the-flu kind of shits.

Upon realizing that this was not going according to plan I bought a lot of Boost and Gatorade (to help replace electrolytes).  On particularly high-pain days I have been drinking 1-3 Boost.  Some days I have a completely liquid day so it does not hurt quite so much by the time I hit number 8. On better days I have 1-2 Boost, applesauce, white bread with peanut butter and either more white bread, applesauce and an egg or grilled chicken with steamed broccoli.

However, a funny thing happened.  I went on vacation.  In the land of Olive Garden salad and bread sticks, pizza, fried food, dessert and alcohol.

Amazing milkshake at Duckfat in Portland, Maine

Aside from a little gas, I was at 1-2 washroom trips a day - without the big D and minimal amounts of pain!  I even hiked up several mountains at Acadia National Park without crapping my pants or popping a squat!  The only real side effects are my clogged arteries and the extra padding around my tush.

View from Acadia Mountain

Another beautiful view 

What does this mean?  It certainly goes to show that stress is the leading factor contributing to this IBS episode.  It also shows that when in an episode food can have little bearing on your symptoms.  So does this mean I plan to continue along this road to chunky town?  Definitely not.  Come hell or high water I am putting my fat pants away.  But, it does mean that as I go back on "real" food, life will be pretty awful, for quite awhile as my body gets used to trying to process fruits and vegetables.

As an IBS sufferer it is often difficult to choose the right foods because my reaction to the good food goes against everything I have been taught - from the food guide to my specialist, to all the health, fitness and wellness bloggers out there.  The healthy choice certainly feels pretty unhealthy to me as I have to go every hour, on the hour from the time I wake up.  It certainly feels unhealthy canceling appointments and making up excuses as to why I have to miss that meeting or have my colleagues believe that I really cannot shake that flu.  It is also really awkward dealing with the corn starch in a public restroom - all signs point to addiction.

So today, my first full day back from vacation I started off with my morning shake (Shakeology, cocoa powder, cinnamon, skim milk, peanut butter and banana baby food) and stuck to real food aside from my one ultra dark chocolate truffle and some butter on my white bread.  My body certainly cannot take whole wheat bread and vegetables all at once - one step at a time.  As I slowly, but surely trade in my fat pants for my skinny jeans, think of me, perpetually on the throne, in a cloud of corn starch.  Think of this as installment one in Food Gone Wild - an IBSer's tale of strange food choices, all in the name of the colon!

For those of you with digestive issues, I would love to hear if you have any recommendations!

Let's Get Topical!

WARNING:  This is an IBS-specific post, and may contain TMI - Too Much Information.  

Problems associated with IBS are not limited to the amount of times that you go in one day.  Often, as a result of frequency issues, sufferers encounter other problems such as fissures or hemorrhoids, which can be far more painful than the washroom usage itself.  Either way, many IBSers have a sore bum, both internally and externally; think about when you have the flu and mad diarrhea; this is what many IBSers feel like on a daily basis.  Because of this, they spend their time searching for ways to combat these issues.  With this being said, it is time to get topical – topical remedies, that is. 

There are wide arrays of ointments, creams, foams and powders that can be used to treat these problems.  Many of them are over the counter and many require a prescription.  When you begin waddling because of the pain in your butt, or you try to find a way to do your job standing up, desperation normally sets in and you set yourself on a path to find anything that may bring some relief.  Personally, I have tried most available over the counter and prescription ointments, however, I have extremely fair and sensitive skin, resulting in allergic reactions to all of these products, so I have had to become inventive.  If you were to run into me at the drug store, you would likely think that I have an infant.  This would be because of the Vaseline, zinc oxide, baby wipes and powder that I manage to purchase on a fairly regular basis.  I can assure you, in the event a baby appears at my door, I have everything short of diapers to take care of that little butt. 

I stopped using the stronger stuff once I realized that my butt would actually feel worse after all of the over the counter ointments, instead, I normally use what you use on your baby.  Unfortunately, with both zinc oxide and Vaseline, I can only use them for a day or two before I have an allergic reaction, but that is normally sufficient to give me a bit of relief.  From experience, I would recommend never using the organic Vaseline, for the simple fact that this stuff seeps through everything in sight.  It will seep through the container, it will seep through Ziploc baggies, and pretty soon you will have a slip and slide in your purse.  My recommendation on this one – get the brand name. 

Just as you may think I have a baby, you may also suspect chronic cocaine usage.  This could not be further from the truth.  Two magic words – corn starch.  This is not the kind of topical you use at work.  It gets everywhere.  It looks like I take hits on my bath mat or in my tub; I assure you my desperation has not culminated in drug abuse just yet.  Corn starch is nature’s equivalent to baby powder, without the chemicals or fragrances.  It calms things down, but is a hell of a mess to clean up.  I travel with mini containers full of corn starch, which I have labeled so as not to appear on the drug smuggler list at the airport.  My husband is very mindful to never use the bathroom corn starch.  So, for those of you who have seen it in my loo, nothing quite as exciting as cooking going on in there. 

Baby wipes and Tucks, the best price in town on baby wipes is at Costco!  These can be amazing, and horribly awful.  They will either soothe, or, burn something awful.  In my experience, I cannot always anticipate which one it will be, think of Kevin in Home Alone using the after shave.  Same sensation.  However, baby wipes are extremely useful after using Vaseline or zinc oxide.  Enough said.

In terms of other remedies, not necessarily classified as topical, Advil Liquigels are a gift.  I pop those things all day long when my IBS is acting up, it helps to reduce swelling and relieve pain.  I also use those disposable heat packages, the ones you stick to your neck for relief.  I keep a pack of those in my desk at all times and will put them on my stomach to ease any cramping I may have as a result of the IBS. 

Doughnuts.  Sadly, not the edible ones.  The ones you sit on.  I try to avoid using these at all costs, because, honestly, I do not want to have this conversation at work.  However, it did come to that one year, where, for six months I had to sit on one in order to gain a modicum of relief.  My recommendation would be to put it in a pillowcase and try to pass it off as a cushion. 

As the great Vanilla Ice once said ice, ice baby.  I have spent many nights curled up with ice in a bag where the sun don’t shine.  It is not glamorous, but often it numbs you enough to allow you to function. 

Sitz baths and/or Epsom salt baths.  Sitz baths are not nearly as relaxing as an Epsom salt bath.  The primary difference being that a sitz bath is a device that you fill up with warm water (sometimes with a bit of salt) and place on your toilet.  It is often recommended as a way to promote the healing of fissures or hemorrhoids.  Epsom salt baths are in your actual bath tub and they allow you to step away from the can for a moment.  Personally, I try to limit these, due to my sensitive skin, but they can promote relaxation. 

I hope that you will find some of these recommendations helpful.  If you have any of your own, I would love to hear them!