One would think that 45 minutes would be sufficient time to complete a 2k walk/run. Well, not if you have IBS! This is when the gym membership becomes really worth it. The bathrooms are in close proximity, your husband does not have to be on stand-by should you come close to losing your ... and you do not have to do the strip and dash as you waddle through the door on your way to the toilet. The only thing you really have to plan is a treadmill with an easy exit, preferably with no one on either side should indications of your issues escape your control. Also, you must leave the treadmill quickly enough that it looks like you are a puker (to my thinking this is the only acceptable excuse for not having time to wipe down your machine and is more socially acceptable than the truth). You must also move with efficiency, but not enough that you pass wind in your heightened state of emergency. Keeping this in mind, I endeavoured to complete my run. I lasted 12 minutes - eight of those being my walking warm-up and four minutes of running. At the 12 minute mark I ran like any good puker straight for the toilets. Afterwards I decided to give it another go, of course, my treadmill strategy went completely out the door as more people had arrived and I lost the treadmill I had so carefully chosen. I hopped on for the second time, feeling confident when the rumbles began to start - I pushed myself as long as I could (eight minutes of running) hoping it would go away if I just ignored it, however, that was not to be. Off I ran for the second time to the ladies room, by the time I made my way out again it was 7:15 and time to go to work. All of that effort for a total of 12 minutes running and 8 minutes of walking and two measly sprints to my porcelain home.
Tomorrow I will try this again, but, I was reminded last week of one of the reasons why I hate the morning. My IBS is at its very worst and is extremely unpredictable. The only part that is predictable is that it will happen despite my best efforts. So, if you are at the gym tomorrow morning and see a red-head launching herself off the treadmill and barreling toward the ladies room, please clear a path for all of our sakes!