Thursday, 10 January 2013

Morning glory

I am not sure how others feel about this, but whenever I hear the term run (or workout) and morning in the same sentence I think - wow - committed!  I am a middle of the day kind of gal and fail to comprehend how people can be motivated enough to torture themselves so early on. Well, I became that person last Friday and will do so again tomorrow - certainly not by choice, but by circumstance.  When faced with being an extra hour early at the office (because of my husband's work schedule) I decided to get my butt to the gym to complete a run.  Last week my feet hit the treadmill at 6:30 am and to my utter shock, plenty of other people were already there.  The gym was certainly not as busy as it would be at lunch, but there was a decent sized crowd.  This was both comforting and horrifying - how can one willingly move at a faster-than-shuffle pace at such an early hour?  Looks like I was just as sadistic as the others - the difference being that my enjoyment level was zero.

One would think that 45 minutes would be sufficient time to complete a 2k walk/run.  Well, not if you have IBS!  This is when the gym membership becomes really worth it.  The bathrooms are in close proximity, your husband does not have to be on stand-by should you come close to losing your ... and you do not have to do the strip and dash as you waddle through the door on your way to the toilet.  The only thing you really have to plan is a treadmill with an easy exit, preferably with no one on either side should indications of your issues escape your control.  Also, you must leave the treadmill quickly enough that it looks like you are a puker (to my thinking this is the only acceptable excuse for not having time to wipe down your machine and is more socially acceptable than the truth).  You must also move with efficiency, but not enough that you pass wind in your heightened state of emergency.  Keeping this in mind, I endeavoured to complete my run.  I lasted 12 minutes - eight of those being my walking warm-up and four minutes of running.  At the 12 minute mark I ran like any good puker straight for the toilets.  Afterwards I decided to give it another go, of course, my treadmill strategy went completely out the door as more people had arrived and I lost the treadmill I had so carefully chosen.  I hopped on for the second time, feeling confident when the rumbles began to start - I pushed myself as long as I could (eight minutes of running) hoping it would go away if I just ignored it, however, that was not to be.  Off I ran for the second time to the ladies room, by the time I made my way out again it was 7:15 and time to go to work.  All of that effort for a total of 12 minutes running and 8 minutes of walking and two measly sprints to my porcelain home.  

Tomorrow I will try this again, but, I was reminded last week of one of the reasons why I hate the morning.  My IBS is at its very worst and is extremely unpredictable.  The only part that is predictable is that it will happen despite my best efforts.  So, if you are at the gym tomorrow morning and see a red-head launching herself off the treadmill and barreling toward the ladies room, please clear a path for all of our sakes!  


  1. Everyone always tells me that I just have to get into a routine in order to run in the morning... I don't believe it. I struggle to make the bus ride into work without a stop. My solution, not a great one I must admit, is not to eat until I get to work. Sometimes it works... others I make up strange excuse as to why i am late for work.

    1. I completely understand; I often use the same strategy myself!